Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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