i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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