Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
