Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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