im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
