never play flip cup with pint glasses
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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