Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize