why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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