took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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