I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
