i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
