You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
