Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
