I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
