Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
