so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize