I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
