I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
