I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
