I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the day after is always just damage control
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
