Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
