Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize