What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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