just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
