why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The struggles of a small town man whore
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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