Soap is not a condiment
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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