Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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