pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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