we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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