Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
