does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
