would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
