Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
