Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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