i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
