The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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