Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
