38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
