Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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