I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
