Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
