I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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