I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
