i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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