piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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