I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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