The maid of honor just puked.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
