do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
