Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
