my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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