so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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