We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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