Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
