After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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