Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
