she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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