the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
