what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
