I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
