Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
