Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
