I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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