This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize