how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
