Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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