YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
