Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
